20. Where are you?
19. What are you doing here?
18. Why did you do that?
17. When will you be here?
16. Who are you?
15. What's in it for me?
14. How much?
13. Let's negotiate a deal.
12. Are you in love?
11. You are wrong.
10. I remember you.
09. You are worth it.
08. I cannot live without you.
07. Don't lie to me.
06. Tell the truth.
05. Yes.
04. You are right.
03. I believe.
02.I love you.
01. I forgive you.
0. NO.
Life is full of phrases. Some are acceptable. Some are abhor-able. All carry power. But most people use them with imprudence. The most powerful phrases are the ones that give credence to the person you are speaking too. NO is the only exception. It has the power to stop a relationship in its tracks. It is the most powerful word used in negotiation. It takes away value from the other person. Yes one word has that much power.
Why do we pick a word that has so much negativity as our most powerful word? It also provides distance and security. It is the only word in the English language that does so with impunity.
People hate to be told no. It provides a number of emotional responses that are not always acceptable. If people are told no enough they will choose to separate themselves from the negativity eventually. They will seek a yes, you are right, I believe, I love you or I forgive you. They will find more positive answers and phrases. NO may be the most powerful phrase but the user must be prepared for the separation to come. Most but not all NOs soften over time.
What power words do you use?
Writer and humorist A. Quintin Smith talks about life, family and those funny things you just can't ignore.
Friday, April 10, 2015
Friday, February 13, 2015
Missing a Beautiful Day
It was a couple of days ago. I was outside. It was cold and the wind was blowing as I worked. I passed a man younger than I (me). He was bundled in coat, gloves, cap and scarf. Arms wrapped around his body. Cursing the cold. Bitter with each trudging step. Out of no where a man younger than him (I) passed us both. Running. Hat and gloves but little more than that. He sang out loud. A smile on his face. Ear-buds in his ears. Strong powerful strides with intent. Loving the world around him. Breathing deeply and enjoying life. I thought what a fool...
No not this younger man but the older of the two. He was missing a beautiful day. It suddenly didn't feel as cold outside. The wind was not as piercing as I thought. The world seemed a little brighter and I suddenly felt alive. Man number 1 even though younger than I (me) was missing it. He only knew the sorrow of the cold and could not see past it. I didn't run after him but I could have in that moment. I would have shared my insight about man number 2. He was younger than him (me), but smarter than at least one of us. He chose to see the good in living each day. Cold did not stop the joy of just being alive. Then I realized, he wouldn't get it. He reveled to much in his misery. Life to him was a struggle because he chose to see it that way. Yes, what a fool. Today is the day of all days. Which will you chose? 1 or 2. Two for (I) me please. I'm no fool. Not me.
No not this younger man but the older of the two. He was missing a beautiful day. It suddenly didn't feel as cold outside. The wind was not as piercing as I thought. The world seemed a little brighter and I suddenly felt alive. Man number 1 even though younger than I (me) was missing it. He only knew the sorrow of the cold and could not see past it. I didn't run after him but I could have in that moment. I would have shared my insight about man number 2. He was younger than him (me), but smarter than at least one of us. He chose to see the good in living each day. Cold did not stop the joy of just being alive. Then I realized, he wouldn't get it. He reveled to much in his misery. Life to him was a struggle because he chose to see it that way. Yes, what a fool. Today is the day of all days. Which will you chose? 1 or 2. Two for (I) me please. I'm no fool. Not me.
Copyright: A. Quintin Smith 2015
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