Monday, March 5, 2012

I would have worked harder to maintain the relationships I have and worry less about the ones I don't.

Job 2:11-13 (Contemporary English Version)

Job's Three Friends
11Eliphaz from Teman, Bildad from Shuah, and Zophar from Naamah [a] were three of Job's friends, and they heard about his troubles. So they agreed to visit Job and comfort him. 12When they came near enough to see Job, they could hardly recognize him. And in their great sorrow, they tore their clothes, then sprinkled dust on their heads and cried bitterly. 13For seven days and nights, they sat silently on the ground beside him, because they realized what terrible pain he was in.

Friendship is an amazing thing. It ebbs and flows like and ocean tide. There are highs and lows. There are storms and moments of calm. Why people don't remember to maintain friendships is one of life's mysteries to me. Most people don't attempt to keep a friendship going because they think the cost is too high or the reciprocation from others is too low but the one thing I know is it is worth the cost.

The great divide among friends seems to be the end of high school or college. People leave to create a different life than the one they have. They seek other friendships and leave the one's behind they already have.

Years later they spend time seeking out old friendships from the past. I can't tell you how many times someone has said to me," do you know what happened to so and so? I wish we would have kept in touch".

Reconnecting can be hard. After years of being apart circumstances have changed. We miss out on our friends life story, the birth of their children, marriages and divorces, death of parents and other life changing events. We could have shared our life story as well. Catching up will never make up for time lost but it is amazing to restart a friendship any way.

Friends are a support system in good times and bad. As with Job, friends are there when life is a little rocky or worse.

With the invention of social networks, life has become easier to keep in touch with people. If you want to see what they are up too or where they are you need only to check there facebook, twitter or linkedin account. Still people loose touch. Sometimes they just lurk in the background never saying what is on their mind. Wishing, instead of actively saying we should still be friends.

No matter how long it has been, a friendship can be picked up from where it left off. Old friendships can become new again with just the simple act of saying hello.

I have friendships that have lasted more than 30 years. Some all the way back to grade school some of these people I don't see often but we do stay in touch.

Realizing people and not things are the important part of life when you are young will make it much easier when you get older. You won't care how much money you have or how many houses cars or toys you have if there is no one to share them with. It is easier to keep an old friend than make a new one.

So work hard to maintain the relationships you have. It will be worth every minute you spend.